Sick to the neck – what made me stop dancing.

Sick to the neck – what made me stop dancing.

So for the past 10 days or so I’ve been MIA from my life. An ongoing neck injury that I’ve been putting up with for the last 10 years or so decided to go to the next level on me, and render me useless in any way, shape, or form. It all happened suddenly at 4am on Friday morning when I woke up in pain unable to move my neck in any direction, and feeling excruciating jabs of pain with every movement.  Not being able to find a position of comfort be that sitting, lying, standing, or crawling, I have just endured 10 days of absolute stillness (which is impossible with a three year old). No running, gym-ing, stair climbing, yoga and worst of all…no dancing.  [Watch me as I pick my soul up from the floor and try to piece it together with medical tape.]

 

20160123_143547I have subsisted on a diet of Magnesium tablets and painkillers, and have lost all sense of smell due to constantly inhaling the stench of ‘fast-acting pain relief’ creams. In my desperation to get back on the dancefloor and make the most of my time in NYC, I have subjected myself to trigger point acupuncture, and wait for it…..cupping.  While neither were very painful, and the cupping seemed a bit nonsensical to me, I must admit I’m amazed at how it makes me feel the next day.  All but a minor pain on my left side (now), all the usual spots that have always had some type of pain are actually pain free (could this be?).   I’ll give my verdict after I complete my five sessions.20160122_145345 (1)

I’ve been rather depressed and miserable for the last week or so, wallowing in self-pity, feeling eternally bloated, and just plain useless. It’s funny, you would think that I would welcome the forced rest.  No gym-ming, running, yoga-ing or dancing.  Woo hoo!! An excuse to lie down for the whole day and just sit back and chill.  No working on the lap top either as tilting the head down also causes sharp pangs to run down my neck and back. But no, I’m just miserable.  Why is that? Does everyone feel this way? Dancers, singers, athletes anyone? Do you get depressed and just plain miserable when you can’t do what you love?  Therapists, physicians they all say “rest”,  we look for reasons not to rest and justify our actions when we don’t; and then we’re rendered simply useless because we didn’t.   Now what?  Just wait?  The last time I was forced to “rest” like this was after childbirth.  You can imagine how well I took that (combine that with no sleep, being treated like a cow, and an endless supply of visitors).  But now, staring at my three year old running around, unable even to play with him (cussing under my breath trying to dress him and put him to bed) I start to wonder how did I become so dependent on dance to be happy? Is this healthy? Is this a genetic? A personality disorder more likely, have I somehow been groomed to be this way?  I have so much to be happy and grateful for and after a week of no dancing here I am feeling lost and with no purpose (really?)….Dr. Phil, Oprah, somebody help!

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